I was excitingly telling my youngest son of my after Halloween finds; we desperately need to replace our worn Tigger and Pooh that have stood guard faithfully at our front door every Halloween for eight years.  With the greatest of sarcastic tone (that he has mastered) he asked what the 1995 Linda would have thought of my finds: 2 giant pumpkin towers and a sweet-faced scarecrow pumpkin combo.  I ignored him and smiled, (which is the best thing to do with sarcasm); after a while I reflected.  That Linda would be judgmental and not understand; (smile) but she was the old Linda and behold she has passed away (slowly but surely) and Linda has become new ~ Praise be to God!

If I had known then what I know now; I would have been different; but I didn’t ~ so I wasn’t.  I was just wetting my feet with a church full of people who knew so much more about the Holy Spirit then I did and I followed everyone who would spend time with the wounded soul that I had become.  Some, like my friends Opal and Lee were strong in the Lord and became surrogate mothers to me; others were flakes, fruits and nuts and I had a hard time discerning the cereal bunch.  I had become close to a woman I will call ‘Ellen’ she was radical and I had never in my life met someone so zealous for God, she accepted me warts and all and I found her ways deep and enlightening.  I wanted to please God in every area of my life and if something was wrong I wanted to rid myself of the sinful way. 

I should have known something was wrong when ‘Ellen’ said that Mary Poppins was a witch.  When I questioned she answered “Where did she get her power?  She never claimed it to be from God, did she?”  I had never given it a thought. She knew more than I, she must be right.  Shortly after that the kids wanted to watch Mary Poppins and I bristled, “She is a witch!” I said assuredly.  They weren’t convinced and argued a bit, but like me, they too were seeking more of God and didn’t want to do anything to offend Him. I didn’t even have a clue when we were cleaning out the library for our small school and she wanted to throw away The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, after all there was that witch again; she must be right. The associate pastor’s wife bucked her and rebuffed her but to no avail, she wouldn’t back down…”Witch is a wicked word and any book with that word in the title had to go!” she was strong.

I was a Peter; zealous in all that I did but I didn’t understand that I didn’t understand…I was dangerous!  I had to have several “Peter” experiences before I started finding my balance and discovering who I was in Christ.  As  I grew in the Lord and started studying the more mature women of the church that I started noticing some inconsistencies with ‘Ellen’s’ life and her family.  Perhaps she wasn’t the zealous woman for God I had first thought; there is a difference in zealousness and crazy.  And while it is good to be zealous for God, you also must be well schooled in the Word,  well balanced in your life, know who you are in Christ and know what He expects of you, not what everyone else expects of you.  She was crazy, in the cereal of life, she was a nut. 

I knew a lady one time that left a church because there was a Christmas tree in the foyer, I know people who refuse to decorate for Christmas because it is a pagan holiday, I know people who tell their kids that Santa is real and they have to be good the month of December or they will get no toys, I know people who don’t give gifts for Christmas.  I know people who won’t tolerate a pumpkin at Halloween because it is “of the Devil”  I know all these people, but I am not following any of them, I am not a fruit, flake or nut.  I am Linda, a follower of Christ.

I wrote in my book, The Seven Pillars of Parenting, about wrong associations, and what they can do to a child’s life: the same is true for adults, we must choose our friends as carefully as we choose our church, our spouse, our occupation; friends are imperative to our growth and maturity.  I have since found I don’t need to pattern my life after people, I need to pattern my life after Christ; I don’t care what you think about what I do or do not do: what does Christ think?  My close friends are few but precious, I cherish their advice and their love; but my final authority is the Word of God. 

I feel sad for 1995 Linda, but I don’t have time to grieve; 2011 Linda has things to do, places to go and books to sell; and yes, Halloween decorations to put in the attic for next year!